I want to speak more openly. I want to be taken more seriously. I want to be understood more clearly.

I will work on being more honest and transparent. I will work on becoming more serious. I will work on speaking clearly. I will work on graciously taking criticism. I will work on caring for others, while speaking about issues which affect me directly.

I hope you will have an open mind. I hope you will not condemn. I hope you will not think more of this than needs to be. I hope you heart will be filled with love, honesty, purity, and Christ.

But it has all been good. I started working for Arvato about 4 months ago. Most of you don’t know what Arvato is, so I’ll make it simple. It is a Microsoft vendor. Basically this means that Microsoft pays this company to do work for them. I’m not sure if it is cheaper for Microsoft this way, or what, but it has created a great opportunity for me to look at the corporate world. By working with such a large corporation, I have seen business done in ways that I could only imagine. My communication skills have greatly increased, and my confidence in my capability to reason has gotten much greater. Arvato has definitely been an adventure, and I am very blessed to have been given a job there.

On top of this, I’ve decided to take a break from college. I know, college is so important, but I just couldn’t afford it without taking out massive loans which I think would be irrational. I’ve decided to head back to school when I am financially stable enough to, however, with work progressing and other things arising in life, I am hoping I don’t put it off too long.

I also have started a small business named “Ever Present Web Design”. This business is still in its beginning stages, but I am hopeful. I really feel like with my motivation and ability I will be able to create a service of value. I hope to see this business flourish within the next 3 months, but if it does not, it will be an amazing learning experience.

Last, but definitely not least, I have been serving Jesus! For a small amount of time, I fell God allowed me to be in a dry spot, where I had to overcome and push to feel His presence. I feel that I have overcome this place, and I am now more motivated to serve others, and I am more overwhelmed by the greatness of God in my life. I am seeing Him move in ways that I never suspected, and He is revealing things to me in scripture which I have never even fathomed. God is so good, and I am so happy and grateful to be living in His grace.

I guess, this post was just something to break the ice! I hope to be on here way more often, talking about ministry, work, business, and much much more.

How often do we feel like we are standing on top of the world?

Does everyone feel the same way you do?

How do we reach those who feel worse off than we do?

How do we show them…

Jesus loves them. Jesus Died for them. Jesus forgives their sins and makes right their failures.

How do we show them…

Don’t keep quiet their is a hurting world looking for the thing what you hold inside!

You may not know the story told through Samuel’s books, so please let me give you a very brief upbringing to this point which I will have you read in just a few seconds. Basically… Israel is without a king in the beginning of the book, but like any nation, they fight wars and have many conflicts which they must deal with. In the midst of all of this, they begin to look away from God (God being what is in place of their king, and the reason they do not need one) and hope to have themselves a king which will lead them into victory! This being something which turns their trust from God and to man, is ultimately sinful, because they doubt God and what He has told them.

Eventually God grants and chooses for Israel a king which He sees as fit. Around the time that this all actually happens, the people of Israel become aware of the sinfulness and lack of trust they placed in the God who delivered them and provided for them. They begin to cry out, doubting God would ever love them again, but then… Samuel  tells them this… (I hope it rocks your world or paradigm as it has rocked mine)…

1 Samuel 19-22-

And all the people said to Samuel, “Pray for your servants to the Lord your God, that we may not die, for we have added to all our sins this evil, to ask for ourselves a king.” And Samuel said to the people, “Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart. And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. For the Lord will not forsake his people, for his great name’s sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you a people for himself. 

I hope this is hitting you hard. God does not want His people to sin, right? God called Israel His own though, correct? After being called His, they were to follow after God. When they sinned against God, they knew that they failed to respect or accomplish what they thought God to be expecting from and of them. But instead of hearing  condemnation, they heard a powerful word of encouragement. “Do not be afraid; you have done all this evil. Yet do not turn aside from following the Lord.” Do not turn! That is so powerful. Even though you have failed to do exactly what you think God is expecting you to do, do not turn from God. Your failure is expected! Do not allow your failure to cause you to stop following the one who is pleased that you are one of His people. 

It is in these moments of failure, that we turn to lesser things. We turn to these things, because they do not condemn us like we think God will condemn us. But remember this. “For the Lord will not forsake his people, for his great name’s sake, because it has PLEASED the Lord to make you a people for himself.” Isn’t that amazing! God will not condemn you! It has pleased Him to save you, and He just wants you to follow Him and love Him in return. That is all! Be encouraged. Christianity is not about living to a perfect expectation. In fact, that expectation was never meant to be met. Instead live your life as the person you are. A person who is claimed and saved by the living God!

When I first decided to come and attend PBC it was on a whim. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing. At first I simply was applying to go to a new college. I wanted to learn more about God and the Bible so that I could better articulate it towards others. I wanted to be able to teach others in a way which I was incapable of. I also wanted a pass out of Reno. I was becoming somewhat tired, and I just wanted a way to get away and get some rest. I needed to set my life straight, and get away from it. I had created a lot of stress in my life that was apparent to others, but it wasn’t very obvious to me. I do think that all of this was a large part of why I began my inquiry of this school, although I didn’t have any idea as to what I was signing up for.

When I arrived at PBC, I was very unsure of what I had chosen. It was the first time I was away from home, and I wasn’t very comfortable with being so far from my family and Church. Yet, I quickly began to meet people, and everybody was more friendly than almost anyone I had ever met. I began to realize that the atmosphere provided at PBC required results. It is an environment of study, worship, prayer, and fellowship, and the fruit of this environment is very evident in the students. It is this fruit and this environment which allowed me to find comfort in the midst of my calamity. It is the presence of God, and it is provided through the people who are so earnestly seeking to serve God in total and complete humility towards Him and His will.

You know what is so great about all that I just said? It has all been orchestrated and guided by the hand of God. First there was the discontentment in my life which led me to seek a way out. This way was provided by PBC. After getting here and being totally unsure about my decision, I was at a point of total brokeness. I had to seek God more than I ever had before in my life. Through this all I met people who have influenced me and shown God’s grace to me in such fullness. I have had conversations which have caused me to grow in ways which I never expected. I got the chance to experience ministry in ways which were totally foreign to me, and you know what? It has all been so worth it. God did place me here at this time for a specific reason, and I am not sure as to what it was; but I do know that I feel so much more real with the God that I have known for the past three years of my life. And regardless if I end up back here or not, I will always have a great amount of respect for the people who have influenced me, especially those up here in Dorm Four! Love you guys!

I guess this means I better start writing more often to get some new content up on my blog…

The day started off with a normal Sunday morning service. I got to sit with my family, which is odd and unfamiliar because I usually run the sound board. So, I got to participate in worship with my family, and it was good. Then my grandfather, whom is also my pastor, called me forward to have the church pray for me. This took my mind off of leaving, and it got me thinking about a million other things. At the end of service the emotions began to kick in a bit. I realized that it really was my last Sunday. It was a strange feeling.

Then I attended the last youth service before I move, and it was even more emotionally rendering. I have really developed great relationships with many from our youth group, and it brought a very sad feeling to realize that I will be moving away from them all. But, I got to speak my heart out to the for about ten minutes. I told them of my passion for God and how I wished it would be contagious towards them.

These two services have gotten me thinking of how important it is to really care about the people around you. I’m not sure how this applies to anything, but I realized today how much certain people mean to me, and I will have to make it a priority to continue to have relationships with these people, even though it will be long distance.

I plan on keeping my blog very updated. I will be writing about all that I do, and I will begin to video blog, since I got a great little camera for Christmas. I am truly excited about going, and I do hope that I will keep in touch even more so than I think I will.

I am very happy to be living with my family in these last couple of weeks before I move to Portland. But I am not used to all the people, the commotion, not having a room, and the lack of independence I have become so accustomed to. I do really hope that I can find it in myself to get past all these different circumstances and truly enjoy these next two and a half weeks I will spend with my family.

As most of you know I have been working a lot if hours so that I can go to school in Portland this January, and as you can imagine, it hasn’t been exactly enjoyable. But I am very grateful for the ability and opportunity to work as much as I have been in these past months, especially with the economy in it’s current state. My last day here at HMS will be December thirty first. That is about two and a half weeks away. It is going to be strange not having a job for a couple of weeks, but I’m pretty sure I will enjoy it, maybe even a little too much.

On top of these two stresses, my bicycle is out of commission. A few weeks ago I sold my car, and became completely reliant on my bike, but just a few days after that I somehow bent my back rim and I think I also have a few damaged bearings. So I really need to fix that before I get to Portland, but I don’t exactly have an abundant supply of money either. So I am hoping that the Reno Bike Project will be able to help me out.

It is my living circumstances, work, and my bicycle which are stressing me out, but guess what. I have one more main source of stress as well. That is, the upcoming deadline for school and all my finances which I need for it. I realized over a month ago that I am not going to have enough money to pay for my entire semester up front, but I should be able to afford at least the minimum half of the entire semester’s tuition which is due on January thirteenth. Right now I am on target for that goal, and I am finding myself having to learn to trust in God for the provision to allow this to all happen. It is amazing that I have been given the opportunity to work enough to save as much as I have, but I still need some extra help.

But you know what? I have learned something through all of this, and that is how truly wicked and depraved our sinful nature is. I have seen myself go on many angry tangents in the past few months, and all of them were simply so I could feel better. There is a part of me that feels as if I shouldn’t have had to do all that I have done, that I shouldn’t have to put up with all I have, but that is all the sinful side if me trying to grasp onto whatever it can. I am learning, through this, I will know the strength of my own depravity, and I will never underestimate it. This doesn’t mean I’ll walk around afraid of my own self, but I will have to turn and trust in Jesus more and more, because the worse I realize I am, I see Jesus as greater and greater. So I hope that even though this blog is entirely about me, which most have been lately, that you get some sort of benefit out of this. Learn to trust in God. Don’t let your own desires and intentions cause you to stumble and fall into things such as anger.

I probably won’t be writing on here again until I move up to Portland on January third. So feel free to browse through the rest of the site if you’d like, post some comments, share some love!

Until next time….

I just want to be clear so everyone can understand where I am at. I am going to move to Portland to attend Portland Bible College so that I can pursue a life which will ultimately glorify God. I do want to be a pastor of a church someday, I don’t know I will be an elder or something at the church I currently attend, but I do know that I would love to be in Reno, because we need more Bible believing, Gospel speaking churches. I know I could do this without a degree from a bible school, but I am choosing not to do it that way. There are often many paths to get to the same spot, and in this case, I am choosing to take the path which I find to be most logical for me.

I do understand that I will be leaving my family, friends, and many responsibilities in the church. But I also see this as a time where I need to be growing, and I think I might grow more being seperate from my current life circumstances. Not that they are bad, but I am used to them, and I am kind of just in the groove of things. I don’t want to be stuck in the groove, because it is when I’m there that I don’t push myself, because I am overly comfortable. 

Anyway, I am going to come and visit home as much as possible. I love my family, my friends, and the church; and I don’t want to replace any of those with things I find while I’m in Portland. Many of you don’t believe this either, but I’m telling you. I do really want to make it a priority to never make myself too distant from Reno. 

So all in all. I just wanted to share all that with you. I hope that if you are one of the people who does seem to be hesitant towards accepting my decision to pursue this, that you would get over it, because I’m going for it, and quite frankly… It’s my choice, and I have prayed and taken the appropriate steps towards it.

Although, these preachers bug me, there is another thing that really bugs me and that is the preachers who want to tell you that you shouldn’t be experiencing any joy. Maybe the reason they want to tell you this is because they think that you shouldn’t be finding so much joy in this world, or in the places which you are, but regardless the message is skewed.

Just a couple of weeks ago the youth pastor at my church mentioned that he has noticed many people in the youth group are not serving Christ with the sort of joy in which he thought they should. He has noticed that many people seem to be serving Jesus with the attitude of unwillingness, kind of like they think they are only doing it, because they feel as if they are being forced to do so.

I want to say something that may not be taken well, or maybe it will be. I think it depends on the condition of your heart. If you are serving Jesus, and you really truly are, then you should be filled with joy. Not some sort of superficial joy, like the first set of preachers I mentioned, would be telling you is what you need. This joy comes from the fact that you know there is a creator who loves you and cares about you enough to have died on a cross so that your sins could be paid for. Once you understand this, which is the Gospel, and not just understand it, but grasp it and live by it, you will be filled with a great joy. A joy that will allow you to love others and show others what Jesus has done for you and for them.

If you find yourself not wanting to feel that joy. Then you have issues. I think that it is possible for a person not to want to have too much joy, because they feel like they are taking away from the glory and respect that Jesus deserves. Maybe they feel like by choosing to be joyful they are in turn being selfish and only caring about what Jesus wants, and not what they want.

But I think we need to be serving Christ with a joy. Not one of this world, but one of and from him. We are here to glorify his name, not our own. And how do we do that if we choose to be gloomy in the way we act and feel? Especially if we want to show others how great and glorious he really is?

I say this all for a couple of reasons, but mostly because of the burden which I have felt lately to truly live a life which is glorifying to the God which I claim to serve. I see way too many people who have a head knowledge of who Jesus is, yet they don’t have any knowledge of what it is like to actually live for Him. As I have began to notice this, I have taken the initiative to not be like these people.

When I see the people which I have described above, I can’t help but relate them to the pharisees which are spoken of in the Bible. They know a lot, in fact, they know so much that they can teach, preach, and take up many different roles of leadership. But they have never taken the time to apply the knowledge which they have learned to their own lives, instead they debate over different doctrines, different looks, they way they speak, and the way they pray. They completely surpass the issue of their own hearts.

Although, our faith is truly based on our destination, not our journey, it is important to make sure that the time that we are given before eternity is spent carefully inspecting our hearts and praying to God that we would have a soft and repented heart which is far from being prideful.

I am not a Bible scholar, theologian, or pastor. I am just a blogger, but I do know this. The Bible teaches that pride is what caused Satan’s fall, and pride is the same thing which keeps us more concerned with other things rather than the condition of our own heart. We really don’t want to admit and live as if we are full of sin, in fact, we would like to hope that we are pretty good compared to most other people, but when we do this, we remain on our path of pridefulness which is ultimately what seperated us from our God, in the very beginning of our sinful lives.

I feel as if I have several different things I am trying to confont through this post, so let me just close it by breaking down what I really want to say…

I am really worried that many people, myself not excluded, don’t really apply the Bible to our lives. I am afraid that we are trying to keep too many things of this world at arms reach instead of really trusting Jesus and allowing Him to guide and direct us as He pleases. We need to all investigate our hearts and be bluntly honest. Are we serving God so that we can satisfy ourselves, save ourselves from Hell, speak a message of righteousness to the world, or show people that we do have what it takes? If so then we need to repent, and turn towards the cross. We need to remember that our utmost desires are most likely the things that are seperating us furthest from our Creator, and being far away from Him is not where any of us should want to be.

Sushi from about a week ago.

With the weather changing I haven’t been riding my bicycle as much lately, so I have had to start working out in the gym a bit to keep off the extra pounds. That has definitely consumed a large amount of my time, but I hope to be able to figure out how to get in a couple good bike rides a week so I can avoid spending so much time pumping the iron, haha. Sorry, I got carried away.

I am still planning on moving to Portland come January tenth. This is becoming somewhat stressful. I don’t have the finances, and I am trying to figure out a way to ask for money without coming off as a mooch. I have sent out an e-mail to the majority of people on my e-mail list asking for assistance, so I will see where that gets me. I hope that there may be someway to get a flier or something out to our entire churches congregation. If I do that, then people wouldn’t need to give much, just a little from everyone would do me great good. So, I am praying hard and asking God to just give me patience and to be satisfied in his will. It might not be his timing for me to go, but I am not going to assume that to early.

I am still super eager to move though. I just want to be consumed with studying God’s word, and the Church. I think it will be a great opportunity for me to really have some time with God. Not that he’s not here, but I am so distracted at times, I feel like I need some time where my ultimate focus can be him with limited distractions. But who knows. If it is right, it will work out. All I can do is pray, and take the little action I know how to.

I figure since I am not too sure when the next time will be that I post, I might as well mash this all into one. This thought has been spurred from recent thoughts and observations. I am sure the people who I am thinking of won’t be reading this so don’t worry, it’s not you! Some of you may know who I’m talking about, and I just want to say a couple things. Not about but about what it seems like they are doing, and what the dangers and reality is of the situation.

Many of us who would gladly label ourselves as Christians are constantly struggling with worldiness. It is something that we just can’t avoid. We are in the world, so we are literally surrounded by it. But we should all be striving to be seperate from this world, not physically, but spiritually. We shouldn’t find our worth or our value within in, and it seems to me that some people may be losing their perspective of this. I found this great scripture while I was reading a few days ago, 1 John 2:15-17.

I know most of you have read this before, and it is one of those sciptures which you must disect very carefully. It is easy to become to extreme on it, but it is also possible to completely ignore it. When you are a Christian, and you choose to do things and act ways which you know are against the will of God, and are obviously of this world, and only for our temporary and fleshly satisfactions, you are compromising. When you choose to compromise you go against something you know is right. This is one of the most dangerous things anyone can do, especially if the person decides to continue in their compromise. What I have seen happen, not only within the church, but outside of it as well, is people get all excited about something so they compromise. Then they get to a point where they are forced to compromise again, but this time they are not compromising their original level of integrity, but a level which is even lower than that. The process continues, and eventually you end up in a situation where you have no where to go except back to God.

I hope and pray that the people I am thinking of don’t allow themselves to wander that far, but if they do, I also hope and pray that they will choose to turn back to God after things have gotten a little bit more nuts then they had originally anticipate.

Well, there is my spritual rant. I hope that you enjoyed it. But really. Take it to heart. Don’t compromise, it will come back and bite you where you don’t want it to. Keep your eyes upon God, and learn to live a life that is ultimately only filled with joy by the love and grace of our Heavenly Father…

I am a young guy. My life is good. There are things about myself I wish I could change, but I can’t. Yet, there are other things which I am genuinely proud of, but I know I shouldn’t place my joy in these.

I see other people in this world living the lives they have been given, trying to keep their own and being who they have been given to be. I can’t help and be envious of some of the people I see. Some are rich. Some are beautiful. Some speak perfectly. And some are simply genius.

These people I’m envious of, seem to have perfect lives. Their families are complete. They have what they need and what they want. I don’t. I feel as if I don’t meet the standard. I don’t have everything a young man my age wants. I could use a nicer car. I wish I had better posture, and there are about a million other things I see in others which I wish I had.

Although I may feel like that, I don’t take it to heart. I know that it is just my sinful nature lusting and being envious, and I think about these people. There are people out there who have nothing. They lived for their families, but they lost them, or they have wonderful families but work too often to see them. They have never been given the proper chance to learn, or they have destroyed their minds with drugs abbuse. I see people who have lost their minds, so they are working the wee hours of the night, because they have nothing else to live for. I can only imagine what their world must be like.

As much as these things torment me, I have a reason to know that things will be better someday, and regardless of our situations we are given on earth, there will be redemtion. No matter if it is me being surrounded and tormented with thoughts of inadequacy, or it is a person who has been given a crazy life to live. I know that god doesn’t intend it to be this way forever.

Jesus came. He suffered for us. He bore the weight of the world, and he won the battle. He intends for those who have been given the horrible, sad, and depressing lives to be given complete healing and freedom from their burdens, but only if they are born again. We must live for him, because he died for us. We can’t let our circumstances keep us from him, because he has already conquered what is holding us down. We need to just trust, that one day he will make us more compete that we could ever imagine, and the greatness of God will be known, and that will be the day that the torment of sin will be gone. Forever.

As you all know, I am going to move to Portland to go to Bible school in January. As of now I don’t have the money, but I have figured out a budget which will allow me to at least get the minimum payment to get in. To do this I will have to work as many hours as I can, which may suck for now, but it is something I need to do if I want to see this goal become a reality. To accomplish this, since I am riding my bike to work to save money on gas, I have to drink some energy drinks. If you know me, you know I have a tendency to become irritable while drinking these, but I am not going to allow this to happen. Why should I let my emotions get the best of me? I will drink these things so I can work the hours, and I will be able to go to school. And that’s that!

On a a more serious note, Worth the Wait didn’t get their grant. I am not sure how to respond to this. I am saddened that all the work is over there, but I am sure God had some reason. And this is a time for the people of that organization to grow and trust in God. Also, I feel that this is an opportunity for the vision of that organization to be shifted towards teaching about living a life of purity not for this world, but for and because of God.

Not that I want to be a mooch, but any help for my school tuition would be nice. I have chosen not to go out of my way to ask for money, but I figure that I may as well give the oppurtunity to anyone who feels like they want to help me out. I have a donation box on the right side of my page. If you would like to donate towards me going to school feel free to donate. If you want to wait to see this become more concrete, then go for it. And please, don’t feel like you have to give. I don’t want you to if you can’t.

It Snowed on the Mountains!

This week has been super long and all over the place for me. There have been issues with work that I am dealing with. I hurt my back really bad while I was working out a few nights ago. I can’t stop anticipating my move to Portland, and our church’s grand opening is this coming Sunday, so we had a long worship practice the other night. And in the midst of it all, I am working to keep my eyes on Jesus.

As some of you may know, Worth the Wait, hasn’t received the federal funding which was anticipated. In fact, no abstinence education groups have received the CBAE grant which was due to be affective on September 30th. Apparently congress hasn’t voted on it yet, or they may have yesterday afternoon, but no news has been posted on it. As a result of having no funding, WTW has ran out of money, therefore I had to go out to my previous job, at which I was working part time for anyway, and ask if I could work full time until the grant came through. But since it was taking so long, and I have the opportunity to make more money here, I decided to quit working for WTW and begin working at my new job full time. This was a difficult decision, because WTW is a great organization, and now they don’t have a guy to keep up their websites, but I am sure that God will provide what they need to get done what he wants for them to do.

Besides my job, which has begun to consume all of my free time, I have begun working out again. Many of you know that I ride my bicycle everywhere, so I don’t need to work out to lose weight, but I actually need to work out to gain some weight. Since I have started riding my bike I have lost so much weight that virtually all of my pants are too small. That is insane! So Tony, one of my roommates, got a gym membership at a place for Fitnessfor 10, part of his membership allows him to bring a friend along him every timehe goes, for free! So I’ve been going with him, and the other day we were working on our backs, and I somehow pulled a muscle which has made the past couple of days less enjoyable than I would have liked. I pretty much can’t sit up out of bed, that’s how bad it hurts. I have to through my feet over the edge, and then I can get up. I really hope I didn’t hurt it, because I no longer have health insurance with this switch of jobs. I am pretty sure it is just a muscle though, so eventually it will loosen up and I’ll feel great again.

I will be moving to Portland, OR in just over three months, so I have been doing a bunch of preparation for this. Part of which is working at this new job so that I can save up some money for my school tuition. I still don’t know for sure if everything will work out for me to go, but I am praying and believing that it will, and if it doesn’t happen, it will be no big deal. Because I know God is in control, and if he wanted me to go I would. I am unsure about two things which need to workout for me to move. I need to get enough money for my first semester’s tuition, which is about forty-five hundred dollars, and then I need to make sure that my roommatescan make it without me with this lease we all just signed. So I have been trying to work more hours so I can save as much as I can for my tuition, which won’t cover the entire semester, but I am hoping that through friends and family I will be able to receive some help with the finances, and then I will be able to work my way through the rest of the semesters. I have also been looking for a job, not for me, but for my roommate. He has a job right now, but if I moved he wouldn’t be making enough money to pay all the bills. So I have been trying to find something for him that is going to give him enough cash to pay all the bills. If those two things work out, then it’s Portland for me!

The grand opening of our church is this Sunday, which is actually tomorrow. So there has been some stress about the service. More or less the worship and music. Running the sound can get stressful, because you get so many people telling you what to do, and sometimes you know what to do, but you just need the time to do it. It isn’t that any one person has anything to do with the stress, I think it is just something that comes along with the task of running a sound board. I am stoked that our grand opening is tomorrow. A lot of people have invested a lot of time into this building, and it is finished! What an accomplishment.

Through all of this, you have seen what my life has been like this week, which is why I haven’t been able to post on my blog, but can you see how it seems as if there is little to know time to worry about Jesus? It is so hard sometimes to get enough time in your life to sit down to read, pray, mediate, worship, or whatever it is that you choose to do to have time with just you and God. I have placed thought and prayer into every decision I have made this week, and I want to listen to what I feel God would have me do, so that I may glorify his name. But it is hard to remember that what I am doing is for him, and not for me. The concept is so large, that it is somewhat of a nuisance to think of it while I am so busy. It is necessary though, and I will keep my eyes upon Jesus, and only by his grace.

A Straight Road

Things in life can be funny sometimes, or they can be sad, stressful, irritating, too fast, too slow, not right, or just perfect. It seems like everything could always be a little better, unless it’s seemingly perfect, and as people I think we spend the majority of our time trying to make all parts of our lives better. This sends us in circles; we get caught up in life.

Today, I ate at a Taco Bell for lunch and there was this man. He was a fairly normal man, and I’m sure he was. But he seemed so lost. He seemed as if he didn’t know what to do. I mean, he was sitting at Taco Bell eating some tacos, and that was it. I’m sure you don’t get what I’m saying right now, but it seemed to me like this older man probably had a story to tell, one about how he got to where he was, and I think that sadly the majority of what he probably strove for has been a complete waste and hasn’t ever brought him the satisfaction he imagined it would. I felt this way, because of the blank look on his face. He seemed exhausted, and he was sitting in Taco Bell on a Saturday afternoon all alone. Where is it he went wrong?

I understand that this guy may have just been having some food, but I bring up this story because I want to make a point. There is no point to anything we do besides living our lives soley for Jesus. Everythihng else we do can crumble, and if it does, our whole world goes with it. But when we live and strive towards serving Jesus, and we make him our ultimate priority, so much so that that drive changes the way we act in everypart of our lives, then when things do crumble, we can trust that what has been built on the rock known as Jesus Christ will still be standing, and that there is nothing that can destroy that.

I no longer want to be consumed with all of these things that want to push me into circles which will keep me from living a life which is devoted to my Lord and Savior. I want to serve him, share him, and spread his awesome word. I want to show others how great he is, by letting them know how great he is. That is what I want to do, because I know that is what he wants me to do…

Portland Bible College

I have been praying and wanting to know what God has for me to do. I have gone down several avenues of thought in this process. First I just knew I was supposed to be a journalist for Jesus. I was going to write books, blogs, and travel the world seeing different people worship God. Then I decided I wanted to be a Pastor, but I got discouraged, because I thought that there may be more out there that I should take part in, I wanted to see God in different parts of the world. So then I decided I was going to be a missionary. Not full time, but I would go for at least a couple of months a year for the rest of my life. That quickly has faded though.

This has left me in a position where I do not know what God has for me. I know that whatever I do God will use me, whether it is in the work place or in ministry, God has a plan. But God gave us the ability to do so that he could use us. He doesn’t want me to just sit and wait, I think he wants me to pursue, and he will lead. So from this thought, I decided to pursue the idea of Bible college. After discussing it with my Pastor, who is also my Grandpa; my family, and other leaders in my life. I decided to apply to Portland Bible College. I just found out a couple of days ago that I got accepted!

This means that I am planning on moving to Portland, OR to go to Bible school on January 10th! I don’t have enough money right now, so that is the big bump in the road. I am going to do some fundraising and see where I can get. Since the school isn’t accredited federally, I can’t get grants, but I can get scholarships. So I will apply for any I can.

Be in prayer that I will get there if it is God’s will for me, and that if I go, I will discover the calling which God has placed on my life!

Bible Tech

As people, we identify ourselves many different ways. We can find our identities in the music we listen to, the way we dress, the way we do our hair, the size and shape of our bodies, the way we talk, what we talk about, what we want, what we want to be, how we spend our free time, the way we smell, and many… many… other ways. Throughout my life I have identified myself with rock music, then with hip-hop, then with skateboarding, then with drugs, then with alcohol, and now with Jesus.

My identity in Jesus is more sure than anything I have ever known… EVER! No matter my state of mind, I identify myself through Jesus.

This identity in Christ is something that I never want to lose. The funny thing is… I never really thought about this until I brought myself back to the roots of why I’m where I’m at. I got some advice from someone recently and they told me to go back to just Jesus, get rid of all the crap in my life, so that I can just go back to Jesus, because he will be there. And everything else just gets in the way.

Through this I have learned that being a “simple man” is way better than being super complex, and not really knowing who I am. I am tired of trying to please other people with the way I am. I just want to be real and true to Jesus Christ. I want to identify myself completely through him, and through nothing else. Life can get so confusing at times, and regardless the outcome, Jesus will always be there, and he’ll be exactly the same.

What reason is there for me to go about chasing everything I can to impress people? None of that really matters. Obviously, I want to have friends, I want to get married, and I want to have a good job. But all of these things shouldn’t decide the way that I act or am. These things should be a direct result of what I identify myself with, which is Jesus Christ.

On a side note, I want you to consider what you are reading. But analyze what it is that you are finding your identity in. Maybe it is with the way you look, the way you smell, the things you say, or the vibe you put out. Whatever it is, if it is not Jesus, and you are a Christian, you are on a track that will lead you to a place where you would rather not be. I am lucky enough to have been given people in my life who will tell me when I need to refocus, and I hope that you will read this and take hold of it. Trust me, you don’t want to end up in a position where you realize that everything you have worked for is far from what you truly love… And I hope that love is, well… Jesus!

My Shadow and My Bike

Last night as I was riding my bike home from work, I was utterly exhausted so I stopped by a gas station to by some energy in a can. When I pulled up to the gas station I noticed all the people in the parking lot. Some of them were very professional in what they were doing, filling up their consumer vehicles in their khakis and suits.  Others were sitting in their less taken care of vehicles smoking cigarettes and listening to the latest rap music on their radios. From there, I walked into the store. The first thing I noticed on the inside were the three women sitting at the slot machines.

Overall this all put me in a some what melancholy mood. I quickly brushed all that off though. I bought my drink and then went to pump up my tires a bit. As I did this I saw a few men sitting on the side of the street drinking beer our of their brown paper bags. This made me remember the times that when my old friends and I would sit around drink some beers and talk about anything, it was somewhat of a warming thought, although I am glad that I have found a greater source or assurance than in my drunkin conversations.

Then I chugged down my crack in a can, got slightly pumped up, and then noticed what got me to thinking the most. I saw a woman walking down the street wearing high heals, a high skirt, and was talking angrily to herself. It was almost as if she had gotten into a fight and just couldn’t stop venting. I so badly wanted to go up to her and give her a Gospel tract which I had in my back pocket, but I began to think. How can I really relate to this person? What happens if she gets defensive or even violent when I approach her?

So I decided not to do this, because I had no way of expressing the love of Christ towards her. I couldn’t help her through her situation, and I had no idea how to properly communicate with her. I said a quick prayer, but that is all I really had to offer. After all that I couldn’t do much about it, so I brushed it off and hopped on my bicycle and finished my ride home.

Some Javascript

I just ordered a new book that I found at Barnes and Noble the other day. It is called PHP 6 and MYSQL 5 for Dynamic Web Sites: Visual QuickPro Guide. I’m excited to be learning this web scripting language along with MYSQL. They are both very dynamic and will greatly improve my ability to use and utilize the other tools I am already familiar with for website design. When I was younger I started teaching myself HTML, then I progressed into the updated version, which is XHTML. After that I ventured out and decided to get with the times and taught myself CSS. In high school I took a web design class after I had taught myself all this, and I pretty much ran circles around the teacher. I don’t think he even knew what CSS stood for, which by the way is Cascading Style Sheets. So anyway. I am going to learn these two languages, and afterwards I will be able to create a website which will display uniquely to every person who visits. I hope that this will help me be able to go out and do some freelance web design for some non-profit organizations and small companies.

I know most of you aren’t really too tech savvy but I just felt like giving you the down low on my nerd life! Hope you enjoyed!

I have quickly learned that actions do bring results, and not all of these results are positive or or appreciated. What I want to learn to do though is keep these portions of my life lined up with Christ. We should place Christ in the center of everything that we do right? This even includes the way we react to our emotions.

I will tell you a story about myself that is not a good reflection of Christ. About a little bit more than a month ago the girl which I was “dating” broke up with me. I reacted like a total jerk! I got upset, sad, angry, and even depressed. Obviously this was not very edifying towards the image of Christ which I am trying to set forth.

Also, a more recent example, I reacted to a certain event yesterday. I was riding my bike to work and somebody swerved towards me, honked, and shook their fist. I, in return, decided to try and chase down that person. Thank goodness they got away from me before I did something I would later regret.

In the first situation I could have reacted totally different. I could have tried to be understanding, no matter how hard that would have been. That would have been the right thing to do, and I failed when it really comes down to it. In the second situation I should have simply ignored the person and let them continue on their angry way.

Do you know what does this all mean? It means that we need to be more aware as of how we react when things are unpleasant. We should do this so that we can glorify Christ in the midst of difficult times. Even the unregenerated perform in a way which is respectable when things go astray. But Christians should take it a step further and stand upright when life gets a little bit, or a lot a bit, difficult. Just some thoughts…

My next step is calling my normal doctor and seeing if I can get some allergy tests done, because I have concluded that I am allergic to soy. And soy is a key ingredient in so many foods that I am beginning to think that the pain may be coming from that possibly. So I guess just pray for me that I don’t have to end up getting surgery on that hernia any time soon, and that they can find out what I’m allergic to when I get some tests done. Thanks!

Dominique and I

Tonight after a good time with my family, I went and hung out with my friends Dominique and his wife Brittany. I have gotten to know them pretty well over the past year. They came to our church when they moved here, and now they are moving back to their hometown. This sucks, because they are good friends, and it is hard to come across those.

They are moving for a good reason though. They feel that God is calling them to be missionaries during this time of their lives, so in order to receive some training they are going to go back to the church which they had originally went to before they moved here to Reno.  That church has some classes to help people prepare for what to expect when you go out to the mission field. So I totally understand, and I am praying that God will use them in a mighty way to save the lost by the Gospel of Jesus Christ.